Rhythm

I think I wrote about this somewhere else--this idea that everything, perceived good and bad, has a certain rhythm to it, or should, if one is in line with the universe. I know I've thought about it, talked about it...it would only follow that I'd have written about it by now. Lots of other people have (lighting up your chakras lately? have your aura adjusted? seek the services of a chiropractor?), and though I don't know that I can bring anything new to it, I'm sure feeling it tonight.

I was having a crisis a couple of weeks ago because, well...all my friends seemed to be in crisis, and damn it, I thought it was my turn. Had I been a bit patient, I would have remembered that there are always reasons, so sooner or later, I'd know why I couldn't have fallen to pieces.

I think this harmony and rhythm is all about not fighting the tide: "being there" when one is supposed to be there, breaking down when one is supposed to break down, and waiting when one is supposed to wait. Most of the time, externals take care of those things. One lives in the moment, and the moment dictates what one is to do with the moment. My son reminded me earlier that if I want to fight the pain of a stubbed toe by stomping my feet, I'd more than likely break something -- specifically, my swiss cheese bones. But if I breathe, the pain dissipates much quicker, and lo & behold, unless I've really boogered it up, I can move on to the next moment.

This rant is just that. I have to be up at 5am to drive to Pittsburgh, which is only a couple of hours away. I've been tired for the past two days. Bone tired. And rather than soaking in a hot tub or laying out my clothes for morning, I'm spending my current moment trying to figure out why I'm tired. I'm looking backwards for causes and looking forward with almost a trepidation -- two hours is not much behind the wheel, I have to remember. I live in the country, and everything is more than a five or ten minute jaunt away. And if I do figure out why I'm tired, what are the chances I'll be able to take corrective measures? I'm eating well, sleeping more than I have been lately...and there I go again. I'm tired because I don't know why I'm tired...as crazy as that sounds. My lack of acceptance of the current moment is exhausting!

Back to why I didn't fall apart, try as I might, a couple of weeks ago: had I done that, there are several folks who would have hesitated or completely refrained from asking for my help. And by the time I was through my fits, distracted quite a bit by doing what was necessary to help them, I no longer felt like falling apart.

Looking above, not much of this makes sense, so I'll just chalk it up to a "just for me" post. Matter of fact, I'll give it that label. Save some other poor soul from suffering confusion along with me...

Till later...