So he said to me, "Life is suffering. Isn't that what (Joseph) Campbell says? (Peter) Gomes talks about it, too." And I wanted to argue with him.
Then my doctor appointment came the next day, and with it, a sheaf of papers for tests: bone density, blood work, and new x-rays of my back. She suspects bulging and possibly herniated disks in my lower back. She found "six distinct areas of concern" in my neck. She's a good doctor. I've had glowing reports from all around, from other medical professionals, patients, and my husband, the attorney who's deposed her. I knew there was a problem in my back. Always has been, but I've switched my focus to my legs and my overall muscular issues, and I've tried to forget about the geographical area of my body that I can't see.
I'm thirty-eight years old, and one of the first things Dr. Lisa says to me, after introductions, was, "You have quite a list of ailments for a woman your age."
Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS)
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD)
Osteoporosis
Mitral Valve Prolapse
Rheumatoid Arthritis (in remission, so it seems)
Migraine headaches
Scoliosis (the one I like to forget)
And lest we forget....recovering alcoholic/addict
And I'm a happy person. That puzzled her a little.
Life is suffering. I'm suffering. I'm happy. Very, very happy. Grateful to be alive, joyful to participate in this mystical dance.
Life is suffering. There are some faiths which profess that only a very old soul can withstand extreme suffering. Those souls are closer to god because they are nearing the end of their cycle of reincarnation.
Gibran says:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
~Khalil Gibran from The Prophet
I do so feel my joy! I do not remember a day without pain. If I ever had one, I was very, very young. I do remember many days without joy, but once I embraced my pain as part of my path (though I often look longingly at the paths of others, I know that to cut through the briars in order to reach their paths, I would be wounded, scarred and still not be able to fit my feet into the footprints made just for them), I saw that the flowers and the birds and the cool, cool shade of the trees were meant for me and only me.
"There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go no one may follow.
That path is for your steps alone."
~Grateful Dead from "Ripple"
I wonder. About this suffering. Maybe, just maybe, it's not such a bad thing. I don't mean just physical suffering. I mean all of it. The greatest lessons I've learned have been from my pain, and those lessons have only enhanced my joy. Perhaps I'm merely being whimsical and will feel completely different in the morning, when I'm attempting to stretch out sleep-frozen joints. Perhaps.
Till later...
Then my doctor appointment came the next day, and with it, a sheaf of papers for tests: bone density, blood work, and new x-rays of my back. She suspects bulging and possibly herniated disks in my lower back. She found "six distinct areas of concern" in my neck. She's a good doctor. I've had glowing reports from all around, from other medical professionals, patients, and my husband, the attorney who's deposed her. I knew there was a problem in my back. Always has been, but I've switched my focus to my legs and my overall muscular issues, and I've tried to forget about the geographical area of my body that I can't see.
I'm thirty-eight years old, and one of the first things Dr. Lisa says to me, after introductions, was, "You have quite a list of ailments for a woman your age."
Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS)
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD)
Osteoporosis
Mitral Valve Prolapse
Rheumatoid Arthritis (in remission, so it seems)
Migraine headaches
Scoliosis (the one I like to forget)
And lest we forget....recovering alcoholic/addict
And I'm a happy person. That puzzled her a little.
Life is suffering. I'm suffering. I'm happy. Very, very happy. Grateful to be alive, joyful to participate in this mystical dance.
Life is suffering. There are some faiths which profess that only a very old soul can withstand extreme suffering. Those souls are closer to god because they are nearing the end of their cycle of reincarnation.
Gibran says:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
~Khalil Gibran from The Prophet
I do so feel my joy! I do not remember a day without pain. If I ever had one, I was very, very young. I do remember many days without joy, but once I embraced my pain as part of my path (though I often look longingly at the paths of others, I know that to cut through the briars in order to reach their paths, I would be wounded, scarred and still not be able to fit my feet into the footprints made just for them), I saw that the flowers and the birds and the cool, cool shade of the trees were meant for me and only me.
"There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go no one may follow.
That path is for your steps alone."
~Grateful Dead from "Ripple"
I wonder. About this suffering. Maybe, just maybe, it's not such a bad thing. I don't mean just physical suffering. I mean all of it. The greatest lessons I've learned have been from my pain, and those lessons have only enhanced my joy. Perhaps I'm merely being whimsical and will feel completely different in the morning, when I'm attempting to stretch out sleep-frozen joints. Perhaps.
Till later...
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