The dreaded "Where I'm at today" post
It's raining, coming straight down outside my windows. In February. That reminds me that I have yet to begin my global warming paper. Each thought or observation seems to lead me back to something else I'm neglecting. Things that make me feel responsible when I give them their due.
It is raining, and it is February, and I am home today, sick and miserable. I could use the time to plod through those many things I know I need to do in coming days and weeks, or I could sit here, lumpish, half watch cop shows and cruise my internet haunts, all the while feeling off kilter and less than serene. I could point to friends in crisis and my powerlessness to give them any real help, or the fact that my bones have been registering aches well above the acceptable level for weeks now, probably longer, and that my ego's taken an illogical hit since I have come down with the cold that the other five members of my family have mostly gotten over, same cold I thought I had slyly evaded (big joke on me) and tell myself -- no wonder you feel like crap today.
Or I could go deeper and say, "Well, Sug, you're one more day closer to forty and you still haven't had that talk with yourself you've been promising," or "You do know that your future is no more uncertain now than it's ever been, but you're sure making it out to be a big deal." I could dive deep into contemplation, and about the time I feel like I'm getting somewhere, feeling the pressure pushing things into place, it'll be time to put a roast in the oven for dinner, and it's just not worth a case of the bends to have to surface that quickly.
I think I need a vacation.
Till later...
It is raining, and it is February, and I am home today, sick and miserable. I could use the time to plod through those many things I know I need to do in coming days and weeks, or I could sit here, lumpish, half watch cop shows and cruise my internet haunts, all the while feeling off kilter and less than serene. I could point to friends in crisis and my powerlessness to give them any real help, or the fact that my bones have been registering aches well above the acceptable level for weeks now, probably longer, and that my ego's taken an illogical hit since I have come down with the cold that the other five members of my family have mostly gotten over, same cold I thought I had slyly evaded (big joke on me) and tell myself -- no wonder you feel like crap today.
Or I could go deeper and say, "Well, Sug, you're one more day closer to forty and you still haven't had that talk with yourself you've been promising," or "You do know that your future is no more uncertain now than it's ever been, but you're sure making it out to be a big deal." I could dive deep into contemplation, and about the time I feel like I'm getting somewhere, feeling the pressure pushing things into place, it'll be time to put a roast in the oven for dinner, and it's just not worth a case of the bends to have to surface that quickly.
I think I need a vacation.
Till later...
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Inspire, In Spirit, In spite of ourselves...