Everybody wants to be loved...

Don't they? It seems like a universal truth to me. Maybe there are some who can take it or leave it, and there are those odd-ball in-your-face shock jock commentators who seem to live to piss other people off, but in general, don't people want to be loved? Or at least liked?

I do.

Thing is--and I'm sure my perception is a bit skewed here--I'm a tough cookie to chew. Sometimes even beyond the dunking stage. In the last week, I've been told that I have Utopian dreams and communistic ideals. I thought I was being complemented at first, but then I got the drift.

I was pretty much okay with things until I learned in this personality psychology course that we rarely have an accurate view of ourselves. I should have known that instinctively, I guess. I'm not stupid. But this presents some issues for me. I'm a writer. I write non-fiction, much of it from the first-person point of view. The issue for me is this: which is the real me? The one other people see or the person I know myself to be?

And more importantly, I ask another question in this particular moment. If others love me, do they love the me I am or the me they see? If they don't love me (or like me), would that change if I could invite them inside?

I don't know.

Till later...