These Dreams....

I posted this elsewhere today, and I wanted to save it for reading later:

I'm sitting in my bed gazing at the most beautiful, pregnant moon that's just risen over the horizon. The sky is a gorgeous lavender fading to mauve. I've got a number of issues I'm dealing with in the real life, flesh-and-blood world, but none of them are preying too heavily on my mind. I told someone earlier that I was going to try to frame those issues so that I could share them here, but right now, other than to to share it as an example of experience, strength and hope for others, after a good cry, I feel at peace.

There's only one thing troubling me, and not overly so, but maybe someone out there has experience with dream interpretation who can help me see what this means.

I didn't sleep last night...well, woke at 3am and didn't get back to sleep till after 7am. No anxiety or stress. Just physical pain, and I gave into it, doing a bit of work, roughing out a short story in my blog. No biggie. Then, at 8am, I awoke from this very disturbing nightmare. The beginning of it may or may not be significant, but I'll cut to the chase and tell you all what shook me.

I was standing up against a brick wall, trying to find a door into the building I had exited. It was a movie set, and these huge sets were being moved into place.....like, ten times the size of a tractor trailer. I saw this one, kind of balloon-y on the sides, begin to move towards the wall, making contact with the wall in front of me, and slowly moving towards me. I knew that in a moment, I would be crushed against the wall and I would die. As I saw it squeeze in, making an airtight seal, I realized that I was facing my final moments. I could see, then, as it squeezed me, everything went dark. I knew that my life had just ended. I knew that there was no one I could call to for help, that I was seeing the last moment of my life, and then it happened. It was dark, and I was dead. Consciously, I knew that it was over. A few heartbeats, and I felt myself take a breath, and it occurred to me...this is a dream. This is a dream, and I need to wake up, or I will be stuck here, smooshed against this wall, dead and no one will ever know what those last moments were like, I will never be able to see anyone I love or tell them that I love them. It's all over if I don't wake up right now. And, I did. I woke up, shaking, sitting bolt upright in bed, and I looked at the sky. It was overcast, but for a moment, I was filled with fear. The sky was completely colorless...grey scale. For a moment, the landscape, the beautiful hillside below the sky, looked grey, too, so I stared at it hard and willed the color to return. I know it was a full three minutes before I realized that I didn't wake in some alternate dimension. After that few minutes passed, I shook it off, went to pee, and went back to sleep. I woke after 11am, and it wasn't until after coffee that I remembered the nightmare.

Now, I'm not reading into this any deeper than I need to. But, I'm curious. Should I be reading into it? Is there something in it that I need to look at? Am I avoiding something? I think dreams are relevant, but sometimes, they're just dreams. I have nightmares on a pretty regular basis that I attribute to PTSD. I have for as long as I can remember, and I see them for what they are and dismiss them. But this one was different. It scared the crap out of me while I was in it and after I awoke.

Forgive me for not being able to tell an economical story. That's why I try to write poetry...thinking it will make me less inclined to logorrhea, but alas, it's not so.

Kinda freaky.....wonder if it has anything to do with this 20th Class Reunion?

Till later....